Rooted Insights Blog

Unlocking the Potential of Counseling

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 22:22:06 GMT

Beyond Problem Resolution

Have you ever considered counseling but felt you weren't "stuck enough" or believed you didn't need help? The truth is, most of us experience moments of feeling stuck in life, and seeking counseling can be beneficial whether we're navigating life transitions or contemplating both significant and subtle changes.

It's a common misconception that counseling is only for those facing major problems. However, the reality is that counseling offers a wealth of opportunities for personal growth, even when life seems to be on track. Having an outside perspective from a professional who isn't emotionally invested in the outcomes can help individuals set new paths in life or navigate their current journey in a more enlightened way. Below are some ways we may not think of in which tending to your mental well-being can be beneficial.

1. Personal Growth

Embracing an external perspective can facilitate personal growth, enabling individuals to chart new courses in life or navigate their current path with newfound wisdom.

2. Getting Unstuck

Sometimes we may feel "happy enough," but a sense of fulfillment is missing. A skilled therapist acts as a detector of personal blind spots, offering insights and perspectives that may have been overlooked, helping you take that crucial step to get unstuck.

3. Goal Setting and Success

Collaborating with a counselor can empower you to develop meaningful goals aligned with how you want to treat yourself and others. This internal motivation often makes it easier to persevere when faced with challenges.

4. Communication Skill Building

Counseling isn't just for addressing problems; it's also a valuable resource for improving communication skills. Whether it's with loved ones or strangers, counseling can provide practical tools to enhance your ability to connect with others effectively.

5. Relationship Improvement

Nurturing relationships is a complex task, and both individual and couples counseling can equip you with diverse skills to enhance or revitalize your connections. Building these skills is an investment in the health and longevity of your relationships. Furthermore, for couples navigating the intricate dynamics of relationships, our practice specializes in couples counseling. Whether you're looking to strengthen a healthy relationship or address challenges head-on, couples counseling can provide tailored strategies and insights to foster a deeper connection.

Medication Management Resources:

In addition to these invaluable aspects of counseling, it's essential to recognize the role of medication management in mental health. For those exploring counseling options, understanding the potential benefits of medication, when appropriate, can be crucial. Our practice provides comprehensive information and resources on medication management, ensuring a holistic approach to mental well-being.

Remember, seeking counseling isn't a sign of weakness; it's a proactive step towards a more fulfilling and empowered life. If you're contemplating counseling, reach out to us, and let's embark on this journey of growth and transformation together. Are you ready to take the next steps on your journey in wellness. Check out our providers on the about us page or call 515.446.7284 to start the process of scheduling.

Navigating Change

Thu, 19 Oct 2023 19:45:14 GMT

Tips for Adjusting to the Fall Season

As the leaves change color and the days get shorter, many of us find ourselves grappling with the swift transition from the warm embrace of summer to the crisp coolness of fall. For those of us in Iowa, we know that winter often comes knocking on fall's heels. It's a stark reminder of the constant ebb and flow of change in our lives, which can sometimes be challenging to navigate. How we adapt to these seasonal shifts can mirror our broader approach to change.

Here are some casual yet effective tips to help you navigate the seasonal transition and embrace the changing landscape:

1. Light Up Your Day with a SAD Lamp

The acronym "SAD" stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, a type of depression that occurs at a certain time of year, usually in the winter when sunlight exposure is limited. Using a SAD lamp can help mitigate the effects of reduced sunlight. These lamps mimic natural sunlight and have been shown to improve mood and energy levels by regulating the body's production of melatonin and serotonin.

2. Wake Up Gradually with Light-Alarmed Mornings

Our bodies are finely tuned to the natural rhythms of light and darkness. Consider using an alarm clock that simulates a gradual sunrise, working in harmony with your circadian rhythm. This gentle awakening can improve your mood and energy levels, making it easier to face the day ahead.

3. Slow Down and Embrace Self-Care

Fall often brings a sense of chaos and rush as we prepare for the winter months. Take a moment to slow down and be kind to yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's starting a new book, journaling, enjoying a soothing bath, or even taking a few moments to simply stare at the wall. Sometimes, the simplest moments of pause can make a significant difference.

4. Additional Tips for Adjusting to Shorter Days

Mindful Movement: Incorporate gentle exercises or mindfulness practices into your routine. This can help alleviate stress and promote a sense of well-being.
Connect with Others: Reach out to friends and family. Social connections are crucial for mental health, especially during seasons when isolation may feel more pronounced.
Mind Your Diet: Consider incorporating foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D, as they have been linked to mood regulation.

As we delve into the fall and winter months, remember that it's okay to seek support. Whether through counseling or exploring medication management options, professional help can provide valuable tools and strategies to cope with the challenges that seasonal changes may bring.

Embracing change is a journey, and your well-being is worth the investment. If you find yourself struggling, reach out for support – you don't have to navigate this journey alone our providers are here to assist you on your path.

Embracing Self-Knowledge: Becoming Your Own Life Expert

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 22:53:22 GMT

Tips from a Provider

Hello everyone! Carmen Tillman here, your friendly, neighborhood licensed mental health counselor and co-owner of Rooted Insights. Today, I want to share some insights on something I find myself often repeating: "You are the expert on your own life, not me."

As therapists, our main role is to guide you, not dictate your life decisions. We're more like facilitators to your self-understanding, helping you reveal the strengths and abilities you already possess. Part of the journey in therapy (and indeed in life) is realizing that you already have many of the answers you're looking for, but you might just need help in uncovering them.

Here are a few techniques to help you become your own life expert:

1. Journaling

This isn't your preteen "Dear Diary" scenario. I'm suggesting a bout of stream-of-consciousness writing. Set a timer for just five minutes each day, away from your bed, and let your thoughts pour onto the paper. It's a safe space for your emotions or thoughts to find a home. If you're stuck, simply start with your immediate thoughts, even if they're questioning the process. This isn’t an assignment or a task – its an outlet. It’s a safe space for any emotions or thoughts, however disjointed or surprising as they might be, to find a home. If you are stuck, simply write “I don’t know what to say,” or even “I think Carmen doesn't know what she's talking about." (I promise, I won't take it personally!) The goal is to let your mind flow freely, without judgement or restriction.

2. Self-questioning

We often seek advice from others, even though deep down, we already have an inkling of what we need to do or what we want. And the truth is, when you ask others for advice, you're most likely seeking validation, not real answers. So, why not turn the tables and ask yourself the questions you usually ask others?

For instance, if you're pondering about life decisions or relationships, instead of asking others what you should do, try asking yourself. Identify what you don’t want about any given circumstance and then flip it. For example, if you don't want a partner who yells, that suggests you desire a partner who listens and responds with compassion and understanding.

3. Explore Your World

Try out new activities and experiences that push you out of your comfort zone. Notice what excites you, what bores you, and what genuinely sparks joy. All these experiences add colors to the palette of your self-understanding. Even the experiences which might seem painful or unpleasant will be useful in providing information related to your personal preferences.

4. Meet New People

Every person you meet is like a mirror that reflects a different part of you. Expand your social circle and create more opportunities to reveal different facets of your personality. As a side note, there is research out there to support that having a broad social network of people from different backgrounds even if it is just someone you meet randomly throughout your day can reduce symptoms of depression (bonus right!?). So, say hello and start up a conversation with your grocery clerk, that person you meet on your daily walk, who knows what connections you might make!

5. Go Back to the Basics

When you feel stuck, take some time for a self-inventory. By identifying your values, goals, and challenges, you can better understand where you might be holding yourself back and what steps you can take to move forward. Perhaps journal (I know, its here again), on what needs to happen in order for you to be living your best life. Perhaps imagine a perfect day in your life, what are you doing? Who are you with? How do you feel? What needs to happen or change in your life to get you there?

In conclusion, self-discovery isn't about finding new elements of who you are, it involves uncovering those pieces that already exist and learning to trust them. The path to becoming an expert on your life is paved with introspection and honesty.

Remember, it's okay to seek assistance. Sometimes, having a counselor can help you navigate the labyrinth of self-reflection and personal growth. But also remember that, ultimately, you are the expert on your own life. Your thoughts, feelings, and experiences matter and can serve as your compass.

If you find yourself struggling with self-reflection or are seeking guidance through life's complex issues, feel free to reach out. At Rooted Insights, we’re here to provide that safe space and empathetic ear. Take the first step towards becoming your own life expert today.

Stay well and keep growing,

Carmen Tillman

What My Puppy Taught Me About Anxiety - That I Thought I Knew

Wed, 26 Jan 2022 02:10:48 GMT

In the spring of 2020, I welcomed my first puppy I would own as a grown up. I already had one dog that came to me as a rescue when she was about six months old. She was basically perfect outside of some separation anxiety. So, I figured this would be cake. I’m a dog person, “I” trained my dog as a kid growing up. Since it was just me it should be easier, no one else to ‘train’ (or to undermine the training). Did I ever have it wrong! Little did I know that when they talk about puppies biting and being needy, they aren’t kidding! My younger self is sending a silent shout out to my mom, who to my recollection never complained about our Labrador Retriever as a puppy outside of some chewing issues. She was also gracious enough to allow me to take the training credit for this well-behaved puppy. I mean, I had a Dog Fancy magazine subscription, I was basically running an AKC show dog training facility in my young mind.

Jump to 2020. I had plans to purchase my little ball of teeth prior to the pandemic (and they were perfect plans!). My niece and I made the drive to pick her up in early May. Little did I know, she would become my COVID puppy. Due to the pandemic and everything shutting down, gone were puppy training classes. I was now working from home, providing therapy via video chat. Meanwhile, I had an eight-week-old puppy, basically trying to murder me with her teeth! I was distraught to say the least. I’m so thankful for my clients who taught me how to be on the receiving end of patience and understanding.

“Everything I know, I learned from dogs” — Nora Roberts

Now to how she helped me learn even more about anxiety. But first, check out those eye boogers and shark teeth!

Photo of puppy in all her glory! Photo Credit BoundingHound.com. Used with permission

Cute right? Something that struck me was how triggering this little ball of cuteness was to my own anxiety, and the parallels I was able to notice between dog training and training our anxiety or fear. Here are some helpful lessons learned.

1. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT listen to your brain!

When your anxiety is screaming at you to “just let the f’in puppy out of the kennel already and she will shut up,” let it yell. Feel your heart racing, feel the tension in your shoulders, tears building up, anger, shame, whatever shows up. Notice it, allow it, experience it. Had I listened to my mind and let the puppy out of the kennel, more than likely I would have taught her that barking, crying, and screaming works. Not only that, I would be teaching my anxiety that if it yells, barks, and name calls me enough, I’ll do whatever it wants. So, I had to practice what I preach to my clients day in and day out. I had to learn to sit with my anxiety. I had to learn to sit with hers as well, when all I desperately wanted to do was save us both from the discomfort of my own mind and body.

2. Sometimes your anxiety is right, so do pay attention.

At one point I had to give in. She was biting the kennel and got stuck! It was scary for both of us. I let her out and contrary to what my brain told me to do, put her right back in for a short time, praying she would not go straight back to the biting the bars. I think that was the point I was ready to turn her over to my mom (I didn’t, and I promise, no puppies were harmed during these “teachable” moments).

3. Your anxiety might seek sources of validation to “keep you safe,” strengthening its case to do what it says (this is a trick, be warned!… enter “confirmation bias”).

Based on my experience, I learned, do not go to social media groups if you are looking for support when you are in the middle of an emotional crisis. Sure, people can be supportive. People can also be misunderstanding, misinformed, and critical. I already had my anxiety for that thank you. We want others to say we are doing the right thing, or yeah, just let the puppy out, it will be okay, kennel training is mean! Or yeah, you don’t need to go to that baby shower or birthday party. Your friend will understand, just tell them you're anxious. Anxiety WORKS! It gets the puppy out of the kennel and it keeps us safe at home, to never experience pain, disappointment, or rejection again. But at what cost? Well, for one we don’t get to leave our house because now we own a puppy who can’t be trusted alone in our home. If I had given in to the unpleasantness of my anxiety (and hers) I would be training my anxiety to get louder and more disruptive, potentially leading to panic attacks when I want to try anything new or scary. I also train the puppy, she is right to be scared, this kennel/life shit is dangerous! What kind of life is that anyways?

4. Sometimes it's okay to put ourselves in situations that we KNOW will cause anxiety. In fact, I recommend it (of course in a physically safe way).

There is so much information we get from throwing ourselves into opportunities where we know we will be anxious. It helps because then at least we aren’t surprised by the experience of anxiety. Sometimes I hear people say, “I have no idea why I’m so anxious.” Based on my experience (not research), I have learned there tends to always be an underlying reason that anxiety comes to this awkward human party we call life. It pretty much boils down to survival. As I sat by the kennel while my sweet shark baby cried, I learned to sit with what happened in my body as it sounded the alarm of impending doom. I had to have compassion for myself, that it is hard to watch some small creature you hope to really love someday cry. Because in the long run it will be best for her (and me). I had to learn that it is okay for her to be sad and afraid, just like I had to learn it is okay for me to be sad and afraid.

5. We all have work to do when it comes to responding to our feelings.

Overall the best thing about having that sweet shark puppy was I that I was able to see where I still had work to do in navigating my own emotions. Currently, I get to practice patience every morning while I have two dogs sniffing and pulling me in 20 directions (never forget, Dog Fancy trainer of the year). I get to notice when I am tired and not being present, evidenced by the shredded tissues and paper towels in my home, and brought to my attention by my non-shark dog who is maturely ‘tattling’ to make sure I am present with the situation and that it is clearly not her fault, she’s so darn proud of herself.

6. Most of all, you don’t have to like your anxiety or your puppy to learn to love it.

I guess now that I’m all grown up and have responsibility for this adorable shark puppy, I will also take responsibility for my nippy anxiety puppy too. Training isn’t always pretty (insert Rocky montage with Eye of the Tiger playing), but its most definitely rewarding. I can now sit in meditation, laughing to myself as both of my dogs bark at whatever perceived threat they are sensing outside. I have learned to ask for help when I need a breather. My ten-year-old AKC dog trainer self has been appropriately humbled. Oh yeah, the puppy still sometimes cries in her crate, usually when she has concerns that her older sister might be stealing her bone. Being able to totally relate as a younger sister myself, I obviously let her out….Oh….wait….

Awake

Wed, 31 Mar 2021 16:06:00 GMT

I’ve never been a morning person. It seemed safer somehow to stay under the covers, safe and warm. My eyes would always feel so heavy, and I just wanted to go back to my dream and not face reality, every day. I loved sleeping. I still love sleeping. Yet I have a different relationship with sleep than before. I use sleep to nourish my body and explore my dreams. I relish the feeling of waking up before my alarm and being ready to go, versus the previous version of Carmen who may or may not have been known to throw an alarm clock at her mother from time to time, or cry while answering the land line, “Why are you calling sooooo early?”, and literally I was CRYING, it broke my heart. I wanted to stay asleep, didn’t they know how safe and warm and stable sleep was?

Now, I feel awake, and I question everything. I feel like maybe I’m in a dream within a dream, like Inception . There is the part of me that questions if my nightly dreams are my actual reality, and this is just a dream within that reality, or is there a larger reality even further outside of me dreaming all of this? Now as I am awake, I never want to hide within my sleep again.

I love seeing things with new eyes. I love being awake, alert, and aware. Ready to meet people in their pain, hear their story, and grow from being in contact with them.

Being awake is incredibly freeing, yet at the same time, it is incredibly terrifying. Because when you wake up, you start doing big things. You start finding your voice. You realize you were taught you were small, when in fact you are infinite (and so are they by the way). You breathe into this, you feel your light growing brighter, you feel it in the fiber of your being. And you want more, you want to take leap after leap, even if you are bounding to your potential demise. Because you can see now. You can see that these leaps mean something. These leaps are living. Living is that feeling we get when we are soaring through the sky. From below, we might appear as though we are falling to our death. What they can’t see is we all are falling. Some of us just choose to fly instead.

We have to wake up to fly though, take a look around, and choose to open our arms to the ground beneath us, surrendering to what is, letting go. The alternative is falling, eyes closed, terrified, only seeing the dark, vigorously wishing away the impending earth. It’s the same ground beneath. And waking up is scary. Waking up means facing aspects of ourselves we don’t want to face. It means doing things we think may destroy us, so we can learn that they don’t. Sometimes I want to go back to sleep, sometimes I want to just go back to seeing what I wanted to see. The problem is, once you open your eyes, your soul will not allow you to go back. Are you ready to open your eyes?